My human is so cheap she only changes the cat litter every two weeks. She buys that cheap non-clumping clay stuff and after five days it reeks. She scoops out the poop and some of the wet stuff almost every day, but after a week my nose burns and my eyes water. Einstein, there are five of us tabbies using that box. That’s a lot of pee. I’ve tried peeing on the carpet to show her how bad it’s getting, but the house smells so bad, she doesn’t notice. Instead of dumping the stink, she adds stuff that smells like roses. Help me, Einstein; you’re my only hope!

Little Bo Peed

Yo Peed Off,

What’s that lady thinking? My guess is—not much. She’s try pinching pennies on cat litter, but it’s going to cost her big bucks to clean or replace the carpet, not to mention the mounting vet and doctor bills (when that ammonia makes everyone sick.)

Bo, you gotta couple of different issues going here, so let’s start with the obvious. Cat litter is dirt-cheap. At these big pet super suppliers, a 25-pound bag of plain old clay litter costs under $7; that oughtta be good for four clean boxes. If Mom’s using non-clumping cat box filler she should be dumping the box completely and rinsing out it with hot water at least once a week in a single cat home, twice a week in a multi-cat house. Adding powder that makes the litter smell like a spring bouquet may make her nose feel better, but it’s a stinker of a solution for you. She probably doesn’t appreciate how sensitive your nose is—about a hundred times sharper than hers. Under the best of circumstances, flower or fruit-scented cat litter is abomination. And believe me, artificial smells don’t counteract the bouquet of well-aged cat pee. The truth is, there’s no substitute for a clean litter box.

A filthy litter box is a problem for a lotta different reasons. First, you don’t like it. Your mom should put herself in your litter pan for a few minutes. If she’s ever looked in a truck stop men’s room she’s probably kept walking and headed for the nearest shrub. Some of those places have the ambiance and aroma of a feedlot floor. She won’t want to get that icky stuff on her shoes any more than you want to get it on your paws when you use the box. So using a clean corner of the room is a natural response to a disgusting bathroom. Under the same circumstances she’d do the same thing.

Then there are the health reasons for cleaning up her act, including breathing difficulties and toxoplasmosis. Toxoplasmosis is the most feared of all kitty parasites because of what it can do to unborn human babies. Recently the Center for Disease Control (CDC) started spreading the good word that few cases of toxoplasmosis in pregnant women are actually caused by cats. Those smart CDC guys say we kitties can only transmit it in our poop for the first few weeks we’re infected, and even then has to sit around for more than 24 hours for the parasite to become infectious. So litter boxes in the homes of pregnant woman should be scooped daily and dump frequently. It’s still a good idea to have someone else scoop and change the litter box. If that’s not possible, expecting women should scoop daily, wear gloves and wash their hands well for at least 20 seconds with soap and water. Sing Happy Birthday a couple of times because it takes about 10 seconds to sing it one time. Look at the Centers for Disease Control website for more information about toxoplasmosis: http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/dpd/parasites/toxoplasmosis/factsht_toxoplasmosis.htm#8.

That’s one way a cruddy litter box can make humans sick, but it can also make kitties sick as dogs, too. Feline Infectious Peritonitis (FIP) is a kitty-killing virus that mainly infects kittens and very old cats. According to expert Dr. Susan Little, FIP is a coronavirus that is usually spread from kitty to kitty through infected poop. We might get it when we step on another cat’s boomie and then groom our paws, or from other contaminated things like beds, clothing, food and water dishes and toys. There are lots of different coronaviruses out there. Most kitties have been exposed to at least one of them at some time in our lives, but when it gets into home or shelter with lots of kitties, we infect and then reinfect each other until the virus mutates. FIP can survive in dried poop stuck on grains of cat litter or a on the side of a dirty box for three to seven weeks Dr. Little said. See how important squeaky clean pans are. Dr. Little said scoop boxes “daily and dump and disinfect at least weekly and vacuum spilled litter as soon as possible. Cat behaviorists and felines themselves both recommend one box for each cat in the home with one extra just because. Your mom doesn’t eat in the bathroom and you don’t want to either. Keep litter pans away from food bowls.

And speaking of cleaning up, Mom should clean your spots of rebellion. To shed some light on your new bathroom areas, she needs to get a black or ultraviolet (UV) light and look under cover of darkness. Your pee pee will be easy to find cuz it will glow a florescent yellow under the UV. (Cat pee would have been great paint for illustrating psychedelic posters in the 1960s, but the smell would have been a bit off-putting for most humans.) Once she’s found the spots, she needs to really soak each place with a good odor elimination solution. If you still want to pee near the soiled spot, Mom can put Sticky Paws XL around the area until you’ve lost interest.

One way or another your mom’s going to have to open her wallet and get with the program. If she doesn’t pay in clean litter now, she’ll end up paying big time later.